tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81692305538779753892024-02-20T14:33:10.249-08:00Creative CommunicationTips for Communication and Creativity - www.veronicajuarez.comCommunicationSpeakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10899560327174167997noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8169230553877975389.post-59701960546872211002010-11-19T12:14:00.000-08:002010-11-19T12:33:12.081-08:00"Outdoor Adventure" Birthday Party<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">One of my ways to favorite outlets for creativity is in the celebration of life... BIRTHDAY PARTIES! For us, it's a wonderful time to craft together, which saves us LOTS of money on decorations and party favors. For my son's recent party, we stumbled on the best blog ideas. Thanks to all of you who gave us such innovative ways to entertain kids!</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYgq5Nt1a3FcI2k5xCPho83eNItR1imASwR9G88fgQrQuv6mNr7bGUAmYfNY1Lq1R2CBTzaiX7yw2Ty4_AVye9zSmTpTFgH1F25wqC7Q4bJsUbf_wapLdbcguDoYAuocUi0x1756tFOrMt/s1600/Pio+B-day+M.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYgq5Nt1a3FcI2k5xCPho83eNItR1imASwR9G88fgQrQuv6mNr7bGUAmYfNY1Lq1R2CBTzaiX7yw2Ty4_AVye9zSmTpTFgH1F25wqC7Q4bJsUbf_wapLdbcguDoYAuocUi0x1756tFOrMt/s320/Pio+B-day+M.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> For the invitations, I bought a $5 scrapbook packet at Walmart (outdoor theme). I also bought a $5 spool of twine. The leftover twine was used to tie a compass around each gift bag (filled with plastic bugs, smore kits, and candy), and to hang forest/tree decorations from the ceiling, </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Upon entering the party, each child received an adventure map, and was asked to select a bandana. (Each bandana had a different outdoor symbol on it: fish, bear, tree, water, moose, etc. I bought $4 worth of fabric, cut into 4-inch pieces, folded, ironed, and painted.) </div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAFbbUstzRHWH5l3tFlEsawcg1T73K6Ao_8FfQnyad1zkjt3VSl1M4MKS9NaHsXf5R5UZJh6N6BkMvtT3r0dJ8BmDShwrqxywkIguhFDTE0Ad6v54RHjDuezTZ4l0nfg3hPQUctEOKUIbO/s1600/Pio+B-day+A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAFbbUstzRHWH5l3tFlEsawcg1T73K6Ao_8FfQnyad1zkjt3VSl1M4MKS9NaHsXf5R5UZJh6N6BkMvtT3r0dJ8BmDShwrqxywkIguhFDTE0Ad6v54RHjDuezTZ4l0nfg3hPQUctEOKUIbO/s320/Pio+B-day+A.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">My thanks to the creation-pro over at The Blackberry Vine (<a href="http://blackberryvine.blogspot.com/2010/07/camping-party.html">http://blackberryvine.blogspot.com/2010/07/camping-party.html</a>) for the coolest campfire cake idea, ever! We tried it, though a little lopsided (above), put the candles in it, and the kids loved it! For entertainment, we had a tent and archery outside. Hence... we "needed" an archery cake, as well. The arrows are made of "Pocky" sticks and fondant. And on his actual birthday, I took archery cupcakes to school (below).</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMWf5lstr4Z25Sy__ti3ErnaWmFLgSyI6ElAp3zBOv9MnhTBY8QF0R7H2SYGpAMqidMAlrygXCIots2FUPr10wxg2iBcvWEPI9tIhPlYvdyyrD0yLzJbuPeUOhFdd7AgSR323Kwaii1WLS/s1600/Pio+B-day+L.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMWf5lstr4Z25Sy__ti3ErnaWmFLgSyI6ElAp3zBOv9MnhTBY8QF0R7H2SYGpAMqidMAlrygXCIots2FUPr10wxg2iBcvWEPI9tIhPlYvdyyrD0yLzJbuPeUOhFdd7AgSR323Kwaii1WLS/s320/Pio+B-day+L.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQdud7X-XHmtS329iEIjcKXRTo1b3lEUjJHB0wgzImRE2pprg1FDsnQ1qEeti7sOUb3EuPUxkyoabmMh7WEiWr0v3QIhZrlFZdgJnjSjZ0e6xAlofl7oN8AxfiqCXFrdTTHeOLAc3ez1T8/s1600/Pio+B-day+K.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQdud7X-XHmtS329iEIjcKXRTo1b3lEUjJHB0wgzImRE2pprg1FDsnQ1qEeti7sOUb3EuPUxkyoabmMh7WEiWr0v3QIhZrlFZdgJnjSjZ0e6xAlofl7oN8AxfiqCXFrdTTHeOLAc3ez1T8/s320/Pio+B-day+K.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div align="left">The evening continued with hotdogs, glowsticks, pin the fish on the campfire, and many happy 7-year-olds.</div>CommunicationSpeakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10899560327174167997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8169230553877975389.post-9977901184095363052010-11-16T19:17:00.000-08:002010-11-16T19:17:52.843-08:00"Creative Communication": My New ApproachOriginally, I began this blog (AND my public speaking career) to share helpful information about effective communication. I soon realized that I didn't feel like my true self in my professional life. Yes, I am a communcation-nerd, but... I am also a Catholic Christian, a wife, a mom, a cupcake addict, and so much more. My best lessons in communication come, not from the classroom, but from life. So here's my attempt at meshing my "worlds."<br />
<br />
I invite you to check out "Creative Communication" here on this blog & at veronicajuarez.com. I hope you find plenty of helpful tips on communication, creativity, and living an abundant life (John 10:10).CommunicationSpeakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10899560327174167997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8169230553877975389.post-70784802041847047232010-03-12T14:59:00.000-08:002010-03-12T15:28:23.843-08:00Bullying & the Power of Words"Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."<br /><br />We all know how it goes. We were taught this by our parents, grandparents, educators, etc. But the truth is... this is a BIG LIE!<br /><br />When I look back on my life, many of the most painful moments did not deal with physical pain. Instead, the pain was associated with someone's <em>words</em>. Now that I have a son in school, I'm noticing how adults falsely minimize the power of words. For example, if it's a physical altercation between youngsters, it's ok to tell. But if someone if name-calling, it's often called "tattling."<br /><br />Now don't get me wrong. I understand that we need to teach young people to ignore and devalue mean comments, but we also need to simultaneously recognize the power of words. There was such a sad story in recent DFW news about an elementary school child who committed suicide because of hurtful words. Words can cause a pain that is far worse than sticks and stones, so words should be monitored and corrected.CommunicationSpeakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10899560327174167997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8169230553877975389.post-8412715261258894192010-03-10T09:33:00.000-08:002010-03-10T10:55:16.649-08:00Customer Service 101 - Don't use jargon!It's Ebay drama week for me. When the local department store recently stopped carrying my husband's favorite cologne (no, not Brut or Old Spice), I ordered it through a perfume business on Ebay. That was over 3 weeks ago, and STILL NO COLOGNE on my doorstep!<br /><br />Their response to my email looked something like this:<br />"We apologize. The problem is that our <em>matrix equation</em>... blah, blah... <em>transaction ID</em>... blah, blah."<br /><br />WHAT??? I threw my hands up in the air & yelled at my computer, "Who cares? Just get me my cologne!" I, like other customers, don't understand their jargon. I don't speak "perfume business." Good customer service entails speaking in laymen's terms... clear & direct. Keep it simple.<br /><br />Needless to say, I gave them my Customer Service 101. My package is being overnighted, disount & free samples included. That'll do.CommunicationSpeakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10899560327174167997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8169230553877975389.post-52613651181868545642010-02-23T07:35:00.000-08:002010-02-23T09:21:17.766-08:00How Dare You Say That!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9WFwqK6bf5c0YkDLUM5t4AtvMD2Wk6JCSFUM4Vm_pmfGhiulmIK3wzwp43gQnMh-bD1S1lF9dNZwB4mExu2qwYpECJzNEEorWi9nh7MRr7UVD-ytm5_Fh-HquLGcXEltXc66w2_-gPfq4/s1600-h/Two_Way_Traffic.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 146px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 106px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441487420174522482" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9WFwqK6bf5c0YkDLUM5t4AtvMD2Wk6JCSFUM4Vm_pmfGhiulmIK3wzwp43gQnMh-bD1S1lF9dNZwB4mExu2qwYpECJzNEEorWi9nh7MRr7UVD-ytm5_Fh-HquLGcXEltXc66w2_-gPfq4/s320/Two_Way_Traffic.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div>Communication is a 2-way process. Effective communication must be made up of good <em>sending</em> AND good <em>receiving</em>.<br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div>If you're a boss, a parent, or a good friend, you've probably had to tell someone something that is not easy to hear. Hopefully, you've structured and sent your message in a dignified way (without raising your voice, without harsh language, with genuine concern, etc). </div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>On the receiving end of the message, we find good receivers and bad receivers. Some can take constructive criticism, apply it, and learn from it. On the other hand, bad receivers get defensive and hurt. Often, this negative response is rooted in an insecurity, which is understandable, but still not effective.</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><div>For example, I taught speech classes for a couple of years. I told some students that they needed work. Some listened and improved. Others grumbled & felt hurt. The latter was not beneficial to anyone. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Another incident was when a dear friend accused me of gossip. My first response was, "What a jerk!" But soon I realized, he was right. Today, I appreciate his honesty, because it impacted my life. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Oh, the work it takes to be a good receiver.</div></div>CommunicationSpeakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10899560327174167997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8169230553877975389.post-71909220105249549262010-02-12T12:59:00.000-08:002010-02-12T13:41:34.634-08:00Olympic Opening Ceremonies: What they speak about a county's culture<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8kHZmPhLCr855Ga4aigG6Yv2NlNSXjgTr_EGJ1BQqvubXwtk8w0cGpNva0zdzYO7e1P-GKiXybdGeRGcD-vKZBANI7BDJ2U4KaTRPT74TzT6fc510yMBpEsIXLslQdOnEs6Ra2tyUxDTq/s1600-h/percussionists-take-part-in-the-opening-ceremony-of-the-2008-beijing-olympic-games-in-beijing.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 304px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 179px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5437465833064962514" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8kHZmPhLCr855Ga4aigG6Yv2NlNSXjgTr_EGJ1BQqvubXwtk8w0cGpNva0zdzYO7e1P-GKiXybdGeRGcD-vKZBANI7BDJ2U4KaTRPT74TzT6fc510yMBpEsIXLslQdOnEs6Ra2tyUxDTq/s320/percussionists-take-part-in-the-opening-ceremony-of-the-2008-beijing-olympic-games-in-beijing.jpg" /></a> Tonight it begins... the 2010 Winter Olympics will kick off in a few hours with the opening ceremony. As I anxiously await what Canada will bring tonight, I can't help but fondly look back on the breathtaking memory of the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ItRrO6P1W4">2008 opening ceremony in Beijing</a>.<br /><br /><br /><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Beijing's</span> ceremony was awesome. For instance, China had about one bazillion percussionists who all moved and played as <em>one</em>. People across the world raved about the spectacular choreography and their ability to look so unified, despite their number. But, this ceremony was only demonstrating the heart of Chinese culture and how they communicate.<br /><br /><br />Chinese culture is a <em>collective</em> culture. In the US, our culture is predominantly <em>individualistic</em>. We value autonomy & individuality. Collective cultures, on the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">other hand</span>, place value on the group over the individual. Togetherness and the needs of the group are a priority. For this reason, the multitude of drummers working in unison simply told a story about Chinese communication & culture.<br /><br />Needless to say, I'm anxious to see what tonight's ceremony will illustrate about our friends to the north.CommunicationSpeakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10899560327174167997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8169230553877975389.post-60312147640484375522010-02-09T09:26:00.000-08:002010-02-09T09:57:04.026-08:00Are you a pseudo listener?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbFZy6T6LfoV7znGD0sLjT7z9eLuV1raNl9q8FxezKwaiF9PV9pPRV9-4pxkefpi3s24izrG056RA96D7UZ0Amkw0-O7xZivqLzHC3ssd3WWHubZeC4ZuESrZnQ2UvTGLO07aQeX2F6uuO/s1600-h/listening2.gif"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 257px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 252px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436303763869186130" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbFZy6T6LfoV7znGD0sLjT7z9eLuV1raNl9q8FxezKwaiF9PV9pPRV9-4pxkefpi3s24izrG056RA96D7UZ0Amkw0-O7xZivqLzHC3ssd3WWHubZeC4ZuESrZnQ2UvTGLO07aQeX2F6uuO/s320/listening2.gif" /></a> <p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXepjVHCXtDJiIgw3jMVlVG5_9fJvBJmdU4JTmxvvtitHJvWzJO5B5_qt-InD_If1QvX8xENjL-UodOuPPJ8hJ4ii6hK0b1XWi8ZPw6aWhtUHv0oxlvrzzo81K-TvOjZaR1B4trw7owsrR/s1600-h/listening2.gif"></a></p><div>Communication is a 2-way process, and being a good listener is vital.</div><div><div></div><br /><div>Pseudo listening means pretending to listen... faking it! Pseudo listeners often have eyes that are glazed over, a bobbling head, and auto-pilot responses like, "Uh-huh... uh-huh... yeah." This is bad communication. </div><br /><div></div><div>Why do we pseudo listen? Often, our minds are on other things (that good show on TV or the "to-do" list in our minds). Other times, things like hunger or fatigue can impact our ability to listen well. </div><br /><div></div><div>I know this stuff sounds so obvious, but so many of us are no less guilty! After the third "Hey Mommy, look at this," I sometimes zone out and say, "Uh-huh, uh-huh... Good... Oh!" But I have to remember that my loved ones want and need to be heard. So, let's all make a cognizant effort to say no to pseudo listening. </div></div>CommunicationSpeakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10899560327174167997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8169230553877975389.post-70534389126345828642010-02-05T09:29:00.000-08:002010-02-06T13:59:06.607-08:00Bilingual Adversity<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH9gek2myJQoEhWITprE_ApCoVcSSDDsfR0hYtQnitVoVWIRUiS_Yuo63EtddFRMcSOJfgxMaXLN9O6SJT9OaM0MktZAORemPm9vbOeeG7n027YKmNp9K0joqvSG2hb8Xa8Lqcv6OpjCcW/s1600-h/qq1sgBilingual%2520Kids.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 190px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434819576163670578" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH9gek2myJQoEhWITprE_ApCoVcSSDDsfR0hYtQnitVoVWIRUiS_Yuo63EtddFRMcSOJfgxMaXLN9O6SJT9OaM0MktZAORemPm9vbOeeG7n027YKmNp9K0joqvSG2hb8Xa8Lqcv6OpjCcW/s320/qq1sgBilingual%2520Kids.jpg" /></a><br /><div>It's time to push the envelope a little...</div><br /><div>I'm a Hispanic American and I have 3 young children. I often encounter this:<br /></div><br /><div>Person: "Veronica, surely you are teaching your kids Spanish, right?" </div><br /><div>Me: "I'd like to, but I'm not fluent."</div><br /><div>Person: "You're not fluent? How sad!"</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>So first, I take responsibility for not speaking fluent Spanish. My mother often spoke to me in Spanish at home. I took Spanish classes in high school. I spent a week in Juarez, Mexico for a mission trip... and ok, I partied in Acuna a few times in college. I <em>should</em> speak Spanish well, but I don't, despite the opportunities I had. I regret it terribly.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div><em>But for the sake of argument and thought</em>, it is my opinion that there is a CONTRADICTORY worldview that exists in our American culture today. I don't mean to blame external sources for my lack of knowledge, but consider this...</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>One side says, "Veronica, you & your children should know how to speak Spanish." "College students should learn another language to compete in today's global market." "Yay for Dora the Explorer!" </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Simultaneously (and sometime from the same mouths), another side says, "Veronica, please don't pronounce those Spanish surnames in Spanish." "You're in America, speak English in public. You're excluding us." "Oh, that professor has the worst accent."</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Many young Hispanics are functioning somewhere between these two opposing worldviews. We don't want to dilute our native language and culture, but we also know what is (and is not) socially acceptable in mainstream America. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Solution? We need to find the balance. Of course I believe that it is important for people to speak English in the US. However, this should not mean that we run away and scream at the use of another language. It took me many years to learn this. (Perhaps details is a future blog?)</div><div></div>CommunicationSpeakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10899560327174167997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8169230553877975389.post-91298964235467492372010-02-03T06:38:00.000-08:002010-02-03T07:07:08.438-08:00You better own it!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8TLT60J3-__2u4a2geRKgTQFA7TLwY7gQVHBp9VKhYY07fDICFWG_f940LWyGQoOObcHr6voI25kONer3pyZuyeZn7244AxJA_TiysJkeJbZ-GvcNo9ngOH_c4YkNtI6sEsdpWe1vlWME/s1600-h/argument1227837759.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 163px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 101px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5434033852334281746" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8TLT60J3-__2u4a2geRKgTQFA7TLwY7gQVHBp9VKhYY07fDICFWG_f940LWyGQoOObcHr6voI25kONer3pyZuyeZn7244AxJA_TiysJkeJbZ-GvcNo9ngOH_c4YkNtI6sEsdpWe1vlWME/s320/argument1227837759.jpg" /></a> <div><div>Here's another key to good communication that you can use at home or in the workplace... you've gotta OWN it!<br /><div></div></div><br /><div>Have you ever been in a discussion with someone that doesn't admit to any wrongdoing? This is often very frustrating, and doesn't lead to mutual understanding.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Research indicates that when the outcome is <em>bad</em>, people often blame <em>external</em> & <em>uncontrollable</em> sources. When the outcome is <em>good</em>, we often credit <em>internal</em> sources. For example, if a team loses a game, the officials often get the blame (external & uncontrollable). But if the team wins, the team's <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">hardwork</span> and talent are credited (internal). (Yes, communication students, this is the self-serving bias!)</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>In a good argument, we want ownership. One time, I told a friend that her actions had hurt my feelings. She responded, "Well I'm not perfect." <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Grrrrrrr</span>. What a way to make this situation even worse! What would have resolved this? Ownership. "I'm sorry." "I didn't intend to make you feel this way." If you want to make the situation better, don't point the finger to something external & uncontrollable. </div></div>CommunicationSpeakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10899560327174167997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8169230553877975389.post-37451963312376412752010-01-22T18:54:00.000-08:002010-01-23T11:15:46.241-08:00Visions of Valentines: Men vs. Women<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnL2VtvTNMmr9_aMlG5qfAn1JrVjwqhNVqTDdmzGgQXVMYvJlWXYhi8gx8MheU9GAuHGo1GXthvOaGsoAMjqRWtsPASVLndDqzaZDB_caqBrBN_78GeCF0vptKAIKHRbeiMt9D775zhIvx/s1600-h/valentines_heart_box.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 107px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 79px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5429771754878594978" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnL2VtvTNMmr9_aMlG5qfAn1JrVjwqhNVqTDdmzGgQXVMYvJlWXYhi8gx8MheU9GAuHGo1GXthvOaGsoAMjqRWtsPASVLndDqzaZDB_caqBrBN_78GeCF0vptKAIKHRbeiMt9D775zhIvx/s320/valentines_heart_box.jpg" /></a> So lately, like you, I've been under the media/commercial bombardment regarding Valentine's Day... and it's not even February yet. So it's led me to think about the differences between what a woman wants, and what a man wants... let's say, for Valentine's Day.<br /><div></div><br /><div>Research indicates that there are some distinct gender differences in how men & women communicate about love. Men are usually more activity-oriented, while women are more communication-oriented.* Let's crack this open...</div><br /><div></div><div>A student of mine illustrated this perfectly. For a special occasion, her boyfriend shelled out some hard-earned cash to buy her a pricey, trendy handbag. However, the card was simply signed, "Love, _____." So, of course, what was her reaction to this generous gift? She thanked him, and definitely appreciated the great purse, but <em>wished</em>, <em>wished</em>, <em>wished</em> he would've written some mushy sentiments on the card. Women are generally word-oriented. </div><div></div><br /><div></div><div>Recently, my mother said this about my 6-year-old son, "My grandson doesn't like to visit with me on the phone anymore. He only wants me around when I play games with him." I suppose it begins early. ;) Men are generally activity-oriented. I remember a similar story from the 1st year of our marriage. For Valentine's Day, I gave my spouse the most special gift I thought possible... a book of copies from my journal, bearing the most secret moments of my soul, which tracked my feelings from our courtship to marriage. Why on earth, after all of my days swimming through communication research, was I surprised that he never finished reading those 30 pages of my feelings? Today, I look back and want to laugh at what I expected. </div><div><br /></div><div></div><div>So when planning that special Valentine's Day surprise, or during the day-to-day course of your relationship, keep these things in mind. When shopping for gifts for your husband or son, consider joining in their favorite activity. Go out biking, get tickets to a game, take a trip... do stuff. (And when gift-giving for your spouse, dare I say, "Do stuff," if you know what I mean. <em>Wink, wink.</em>) For the wife, sister, daughter, mom - still get her the great handbag, BUT please, write plenty of words on the card too.</div><br /><div></div><div><span style="font-size:85%;">*Remember that research is about <em>generalizations</em>. It doesn't mean <em>all</em> men or women. Plus, keep in mind the difference between sex & gender. </span></div>CommunicationSpeakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10899560327174167997noreply@blogger.com5